try & try again...
never give up. get up and do it.
Today I've done many things, but nothing that most would notice. Still, I look around at all that I have not done. A sense of defeat has come over me. My mind chatter has once again tried to tell me that I will probably not change. But, but, but.... What about this, what about that... Yea, Yea, but... Overwhelmed. Proscrastinating. Lazy? Bored. Inadequate. Not quite sure what it is. Just not sure that I'll ever be different. The whining is a short-lived gratification and/or relief. But to be honest, it makes me even sicker. My intent was to seek solace in writing. As I have just read through the last few lines - I sense the Lord's prompting of my spirit even as I try to escape through writing. I'll never give up. I'll never give in. Maybe for a moment, maybe for a day, but never completely. I have come to know His wonderful promises. Comfort comes over me even now as I recite them in my mind. Once again, He has closed my mouth of things that just should not be part of my vocabulary. I tell my boys over and over that " in our homeschool, we do not say the words I can't do it!" Yet, I succumb to that very thought many days. --Hey, chick - practice what your teaching! Today, my youngest son was trying out his new skates and did fairly well for his first time. What I observed was his determination to learn on his own. All the while, I'm pleading with him to let me help. Yes, he eventually gave in to my pleas, but only to please me, not because he finally realized he needed help. My oldest son was on to new tricks and turns, but every now and then needed a helping hand. Once again, another lesson I can learn through my awesome children. Many times I try to do things on my own and become frustrated at the outcome. In my mind, I've become so consumed with the idea that I can do it own my own that I do not even consider asking for help. And right with me is my Father God who is saying take my hand, listen to my instruction, and follow my example. Then, when I am more experienced, he can trust me with "new tricks and turns"- always remembering that He is there to give his righteous right hand to pull me up and get me going again. He is so good. He is a good teacher, coach, motivator, encourager and Father. I can do all things!
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Father in Heaven, I love you. I praise you and adore you. Forgive me for insisting that I do things on my own. Forgive me of my foolish pride that hinders me from accepting help. Thank you for loving me in spite of my stubborn attitude. You are so good to me. You heal my brokeness. You affirm me. You esteem me. I want to please you. Amazing you are. Thank you for allowing me to see the good in myself and not just the bad. Help me to be better at practicing new things and not giving up on the first attempt. I pray that you help comfort others who struggle with the same things. I pray that you encourage others with my same personality. Teach us Lord to not stumble on our strengths, but to allow you to use them for your work. You knew us before we were created in our mother's womb. You designed me and I'm a wonderful creation. Strengthen my weak traits and send others to help guide me. Your word is so reassuring - You say that you began a good work and you will be faithful to complete it. Complete me. Mold me. You are my potter. I am the clay in your hands. A most beautiful work of the Almighty Artist. Thank you for my creativity. Thank you for my spontaneity. Your will be done. In Jesus name, Amen.
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I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Phil 4:13
posted by muddy hands at 11:51 AM
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